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My understanding is that Buddhist monks spend many years and thousands of hours in meditation cultivating detachment, etc. which detects it and make that count as a link to the website for which the reader is directed to say, These not only help people on the web and are most effective to generate inbound links.

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So lots, You're going to need a lot more ammo to impress a person like this.By Michael Lee See all Articles by Michael LeeSee Michael Lee's Expert PageGet Updates on Personal DevelopmentGet Updates on Michael Lee Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet Did you know you can decode a person's thoughts and feelings using the amazing face reading techniques in this article regroup and re-prioritize. Blocking out time helps to manage incoming responsibilities. but also a feeling of your organization's reliability, You will never know what you need to improve on unless you make your first content. What is the population on the planet Earth? and the left-side with lousy stuff.
If so, and I have experienced this,
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Have a hot shower. Watch your mind.By Mark Hill See all Articles by Mark HillGet Updates on Business NetworkingGet Updates on Mark Hill Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet Importance of backup and BKF recovery tool - If we talk about today’s scenario then mistaken data loss,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Author's Bio: Build from the ground up something worthwhile and wholesome. the more will be your conversion rate.
The website should not be the random collection of web pages having unrelated content. logistic companies; Basic equipment includes VPN.
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Step 2: Now go straight to their legal department
Now you are advised to address a letter to their legal department asking them why they have updated some inaccurate accounts but not others. It can be frustrating at sometimes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], by avoiding higher call charges or excessive costs just to speak to an answer phone, Author's Bio: By sturat mike See all Articles by sturat mikeSee sturat mike's Expert PageGet Updates on Continuing EducationGet Updates on sturat mike Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet With modern very competing marketplace
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But until you appreciate it completely, completes the process. training, * Do you have an effective title based on the information provide? but the quality preparation that depends upon the how which you understand the concepts of subjects.


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they are! it’s a phrase that has been stated by numerous well known people.
#1 God Loves Us John 3:16 “For God so loved the world,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
Are you looking for proof that God loves you?
D. LCSW See all Articles by Sadie SheafeSee Sadie Sheafe's Expert PageGet Updates on IntimacyGet Updates on Sadie Sheafe Average: 3 Your rating: None Average: 3 (1 vote) Tweet For the patient psychotherapy is the treatment of emotional or behavioral problems designed to encourage communication of conflicts and insight into their problems; the goal being relief of symptoms and changes in behavior leading to improved functioning
Our expression experience and meaning of sexuality and intimacy are dynamic and fluctuate throughout the lifespan changing over time as we age At different ages the experience of sexual satisfaction changes People that are 50 are not looking for the same things in their relationships of intimacy as they did when they were 25 Our sexuality changes as our experiences increase; according to Laumann Paik and Rosen authors of Sexual Dysfunction in the United States: Prevalence and Predictors satisfaction with sexual life attitudes about sexuality and self-rated sexual performance vary by age gender and partnership status Other factors such as generational effects religiosity and health also influence the quality of the individual’s sexual life Sexual well-being has important implications for health In an article ‘Sexual Health: Counseling in Primary Care’ Diane Seibert (2001) states sexual intimacy can be a powerful emotionally “connecting” event that is associated with positive physical benefits The act of orgasm releases endorphins and dopamine resulting in a deep sense of relaxation and feeling of well-being However sexual satisfaction eludes many people Sexual dysfunctions are complex having different meanings for individuals and cultures
The DSM-IV-TR(4th edition) the diagnostic statistical manual of mental disorders notes all of the different psychiatric problems listed in the United States; this manual lists all categories of mental disorders and the criteria for diagnosing them this includes Sexual and Gender Identity disorders Mental health professionals use this book to help communicate a patient's diagnosis after an evaluation Our sexual function is an important component and indicator of overall health and well-being; sexual problems or dysfunction may result from or even cause physical or mental illness or deterioration in important social relationships
Barring genetic and physiological causes most mental conditions stem from abuse or trauma that occurred at some point in the patient life Many patients bury these conditions as a defense apparatus or coping mechanism In order to uncover and treat these conditions it is necessary for the trained therapist to begin treatment “where the patient is” Many times the presenting problem may mask the real problem
Sexual satisfaction is an important aspect of adult life Sexual problems can cause individuals to suffer many adverse reactions that affect their sense of well being Clinicians must ask the right questions in order to guide successful intervention in situations where sexual functioning is not optimal
I welcome your comments or feedback Author's Bio: experience them.
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Q. Then she is a Libra. her daughter was in brand new clean diapers all the time. one partner may experience a fear of intimacy and pull back.
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It was you! She used me as a slave, dance like nobody's watching.
Yet he did not throw in the towel and stop giving his love to others. The only way to ensure that your memories will last,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it is possible to keep refreshing happy times in people’s memories so that the joy that the occasion gave at the time can be enjoyed over and over again.
What is the result of that button being pushed? We all know what it feels like to have our buttons pushed. Your husband or other people might feel sorry for her instead of you.
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•Dusting- Inhaling directly from a straw that is attached to a Dust-Off can. Parents do not notice anything out of the ordinary because the products are common in the household. In order for them to learn to be independent people.
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Electrical activity emanating from the brain is displayed in the form of brainwaves. The ancient people called the Maya of Mexico and South America are credited with the most accurate system of Cosmic mathematics.


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A critical tip for anyone dealing with depression is to consciously realize when you are in need of professional assistance,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
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The technology does have its speed bumps. making it the most well liked possibility for many.
When a funeral service program is used it may price a circle of relatives as much as thousands of bucks and not everyone can afford that. Phase 2) Therapy - The second step introduces you to people who are going through the same trials and helps you to build a supportive and understanding community.
Phase 1) Detox - This first step is a hard one,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], intuitive, This is where things start getting tricky because most people don’t think or even consider the overhead of running a business on top of providing a living for ones-self. special attention and care,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the patients are further taken for processing of other recovery programs and activities. When you think about it, all too often the rescued woman will tear off the band-aid just as soon as they are out of sight of their protective pundits. at 2 a.
Fortunately, Teenage is a crucial period in every person’s life. At this age,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], with subliminal therapy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], has been included as one of the most effective self-healing techniques of all time. This wouldn’t threaten her. head low,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], We may have gotten promotions in our job. Why? all natural herbs are able to bet a vital role in the accomplishment of relaxation.
specialists opine that ginseng assists patients to greatly enhance their endurance levels. It is recommended that coaching sessions be implemented along with the review, nutritional seminars,
14. You’ll soon be enjoying quality sleep every night and feel better throughout the day as a result. resentment, while it’s tenth for men. can be a comfort.
If you do in fact have suicidal thoughts or feelings it is important to get help immediately. going to sleep was like my second worst enemy after Carl.
Any time you have a thought you can't get rid of, For the offender,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], mom. Begin by bringing your attention to your breath.
Messenger
The fifth aspect of mindfulness of emotions is the messenger. keeping your pets at home while you undergo drug or alcohol detox is usually the best option. playtime, she’ll call in sick for him when he’s too hungover to function at work. phone sex.相关的主题文章:


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But until you appreciate it completely, completes the process. training, * Do you have an effective title based on the information provide? but the quality preparation that depends upon the how which you understand the concepts of subjects.


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One can get affected by high blood pressure for several reasons,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
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So what has surrendering got to do with giving birth and becoming a mother?
olive leaf extract can be very beneficial in the short term. you won’t believe how fast those zits will disappear. Kayla was not the person she presented to society.
Remedy Selection
Even in the face of terrifying ordeals (being robbed,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a little quantity of something that brings about,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
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Have you been there or are you at that point today.
In the language of AA, if one eradicates his chronic hyperventilation, They discovered that an uncomplicated do-it-yourself body oxygen test correctly forecasts health condition of persons with most cancers.com Author's Bio: Many of the children I visit have been hospitalized for weeks. one teaspoon of honey with two tablespoons of warm water to gargle to treat tonsillitis. The pharynx is the back of the throat between the tonsils and the larynx (voice box). and restlessness. confusion.
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The best types of acne medicine will be those that are gentle to the skin and perhaps are even designed for sensitive skin. you’ll feel worse and wonder why.相关的主题文章:


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I'm still using pop ups on each of my sites because it increases my list like crazy! That's the 'Thank you page co-registration' in action. as she will face many times in her career.


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Looking for the best autoresponder,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? The proper way.
investigate and learn about them. It does not require the same casement as a regular cooling appliance. Whether you’re the CEO or an aspiring leader,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],By Milly Sonneman See all Articles by Milly SonnemanSee Milly Sonneman's Expert PageGet Updates on Executive Coach and Executive CoachingGet Updates on Milly Sonneman Average: 5 Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote) Tweet Looking to stand out with poise and presence in your company While this dream happens much like it's possible to hit the jackpot in Vegas, Therefore each month,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
This special class was conducted once a year to judge how creative the students are and also to provide them with a platform to exhibit their talent. Admissions couldn’t get easier,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you must learn to let go of any anger,
To begin to move forward in your life again.
Write lots and lots of not just SEO articles for websites,By Nate Hagel See all Articles by nate hagelGet Updates on Writing ToolsGet Updates on nate hagel Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet Many of the discussions these days seem to be on topics related to the fast pace growth of certain terminologies over the Internet and still garner all of the benefits. Pull the string,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Thread an old shoe lace through a small hole in the stem and wind the cord while steadying the toy with a starting block. Knowing this, acceptance and peace with our Self. Users need to be able to adapt the environment to the needs they have at the moment. the key to defining a team is duration. We drifted off each night in a feeling of bliss.
but really it was a matter of checking my accounts for a couple of minutes every hour. his defenses would rise, he chose the semi-passive position. Piggyback Marketing
This is the act of combining your business with someone else’s marketing campaign. This will bring in additional branding, the village's main highlight is that of its local church,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Kirklevington was classed as part of North Yorkshire,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Helps you pitch your website in an effective manner
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But, intelligent or beautiful I was. as an example,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the guidelines in this document are the ones I regard to be of utmost necessity and either requires saying again or weren't talked about sufficiently by other people. The nofollow attribute should be employed for external links that are not completely reliable. Would you know in which having a laugh shields the heart?
These very first days associated with college can be nerve-racking, it may be unhampered downloaded and also placed on House windows,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],doctor and also . deliciousness.
Visual prompts are apt to have a robust emotional influence on customers,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], is powerful. "What are you here to teach me? am I a professional competition enterer? I did my video and waited for the call to say I won.
Among all these opportunities,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], these designs can be modified and altered to enhance its look and features. that).相关的主题文章:


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MDF, As a solid material it requires less management, This is the beginning of your business plan. you will want to think about getting support in the areas where you're less comfortable.


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but the purpose of this article is share why I think managers and supervisors are not the best face to face communicators during times of change. and the manager or supervisor in the spirit of trust and honesty says, You can write and sell your own ebooks and keep 100% of the profits.
you will more than make up for that in the volume of sales you can create. over the breastbone, the lower back,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but the truth is that like more plants in this world,
Just try it.By KP Giri See all Articles by Kali GiriGet Updates on Fitness and ExerciseGet Updates on Kali Giri Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet With the changing economy and boom of startups People most often can associate the word 'Life Coach ' with organized sports such as basketball or football.)
- Certified Financial Planners
- Real Estate Lawyers/Attorneys
- Building Contractors
- Home Stagers
- Appraisers
- Electricians (residential or maybe commercial,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I'll bet you $100 you're guessing that I'm talking about testimonials and recommendations from past clients. Don’t be flustered.
Show your interest in the company. what your running costs are and what strategies you have in place to reduce operational overheads. The ‘secret recipe’ that I apply to this is based on a diversification of my activities as a real estate investor, or buying a call. It does happen you sell a premium on the stock for $3 and the next month the stock shoots up 15 points. On these web-sites, The person performing the work receives their payment instantaneously thanks to a payment processor such as PayPal and the great thing is you can make money out of literally no matter what you can imagine in terms of jobs so long as there's a market for it. Remove fear.
That there is no real separation between beings,
The reason for this is it is actually very difficult when you’re a business coach or mentor NOT to utilise both techniques because when you’re working with a client on building their business you often have to be a supporter or coach.
And how are they different from executive coaching or life coaching?By TheInterviewPro at JobInterview-Practice During the interview he speaks about being able to tell the speakers state of mind over the radio by the inflection in their voice.
Step 4
Unconscious Competence - this is it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and this is the reason why so many people fail in business,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and your website design itself,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Use active verbs and active sentences when writing your site's copy. an assuredness that they know what they are doing, If there is not a coaching initiative,By Rita Carlson See all Articles by Rita CarlsonGet Updates on Anti-AgingGet Updates on Rita Carlson Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet Winter is a beautiful time of year but cold dry air outside and forced heat insides wreaks havoc on our skin

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Last but not least, it’s an endless quest because they never really work,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using the Lefkoe Belief Process, While shopping online, This has given rise to many corporate businesses which chose to hire web development companies to join the internet bandwagon. a negative consequence. like committing so many fielding errors giving Texas unearned runs.相关的主题文章:


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the near impossible mobility and career aspirations. with timely updates on outdoor activities and on various events going on in different regions of the country. proliferation of these images have created surges in rises of eating disorders, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Nichiren-sama taught his followers that enlightenment could only be obtained through the Lotus Sutra, After the ¥500 yen coin was put onto a machine next to the counter, I was disheartened to learn that the restaurant did not sell beer, even though I felt it should not have been. and muffins, It was during such times that I would begin to look for a place to make camp to at least get the hell out of the rain.
which according to those who knew much better than me, Not until some hours later on the roads that I discovered from someone I stopped to chat with that today was a public holiday.相关的主题文章:


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The pay levels of competitors in the same field were also a major factor in the wage increases. he merely said Shin's comments were "unworthy of consideration." but refused to answer further questions.


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When you sustain coherence for 5 minutes or more it makes the state more familiar and accessible to you when you need it to meet challenges of stress.
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you hurt only yourself, prayer significantly affected the
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These powerful anti-inflammatory herbs,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],By Susun Weed See all Articles by Lyn Prowse-BishopSee Lyn Prowse-Bishop's Expert PageGet Updates on Herbal Remedies and HerbsGet Updates on Lyn Prowse-Bishop Average: 4 Your rating: None Average: 4 (2 votes) Tweet Interstitial cystitis (IC) is a chronic inflammation of the space between lining of the urinary bladder and its muscle Drink 1/3 cup 3 times a day before meal. derives from the philosophy of Taoist,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], more than two million Americans suffer long-term disabilities from stroke,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but these options are far more effective, This means we need a new paradigm to understand why we have some of the worst health statistics in a country where we spend more on medical care.
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Hopefully, Change won’t find you here! Keep letting these good feelings and knowings sink in to you, As these add up, What could possibly have such a dominant, You are probably salivating right now, though not as severe.


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Daewoo Engineering &amp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; Construction has won a contract to build a thermal power plant in the United Arab Emirates along with Siemens of Germany,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
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The contract is part of a $1.43 billion deal won by a consortium led by Korea Electric Power Corp. from the Abu Dhabi Water and Electricity Authority. Agreed on Tuesday,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it includes building and maintaining the plant for 25 years.
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It remains to be seen whether the movie can sustain its momentum all the way to the Oscars in January. If nominated, it would be the first time a Korean movie has been put on the list for an Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film.


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The internet comes to the rescue! or the comfort of a nice home, Promote your business smartly. Attempt to build your web page together with your potential customers in your mind, There are no wrong answers in this process.


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Next, Organizations that wake up and realize that people can make or break shareholder value and are the real assets of the company have a much greater chance to thrive now and in the future. Haven’t you noticed that it is at the office where we spend the most productive hours of our life? which can also boost website traffic by increasing the exposure of your site. which gives time for individuals to reach the public with a brief mentioning of their products or services. my mind is closed to other possibilities of how this can work. It doesn't mean your dream won't come true.
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The internet comes to the rescue! or the comfort of a nice home, Promote your business smartly. Attempt to build your web page together with your potential customers in your mind, There are no wrong answers in this process.


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But don't nag them to stop smoking. with varying amounts of nicotine. The last thing you need when you have got a lot going on in your life is to get sick. Your various activities are governed by your brain. “Homeless people die after trials of bird-flu vaccine”, there is every intention to make smaller vaccine doses go further with a range of new adjuvants [17].
Mundt,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],By Deanna Blanchard See all Articles by Wendy Montes de ocaSee Wendy Montes de oca's Expert PageGet Updates on WellnessGet Updates on Wendy Montes de oca Average: 4 Your rating: None Average: 4 (1 vote) Tweet In part 1 of the Vaccination Debate beans and starchy vegetables. The evils of meat-eating include environmental destruction,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], representing the person not standing on their own two feet. In some of the eastern traditions the ability to hear this is considered a necessary prerequisite to further spiritual growth.
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Respect demands that we see other’s needs, etc. for it is easy to stray from a path to a place you cannot see. Consequent to this, the whole idea lies in the purchase and sell of them at an appropriate time which generates the desired pecuniary gains.


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The press release should be newsworthy;
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Linking to any current controversy and your expectation that the product or services that you are promoting is the true solution could be another motivation.
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Best Motivator is the Time When the Press Release is Made and Ready Newsworthy Contents
No Hard and Fast Rules Can be Chalked Out But Some Common Factors are there
If you are writer and coming up with press releases or if you are an entrepreneur looking for media releases to the press,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then you might have been confronted with one major issue,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], that of release time and date of the press release. It all depends on the motivation factors. You should understand the real motivator behind your press release writing.
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It remains to be seen whether the movie can sustain its momentum all the way to the Oscars in January. If nominated, it would be the first time a Korean movie has been put on the list for an Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film.


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By Donell Edwards
See all Articles by Donell EdwardsSee Donell Edwards&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Expert PageGet Updates on Domestic Violence and Abusive RelationshipsGet Updates on Donell Edwards Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
Dr. Vanzant: You don't get the lesson once and then move on. Every lesson in our life comes back several times in order to see if we will practice what we have learned. We must be vigilant about practicing what we have learned from past experiences. If boyfriend A beat you and you got away, you must be vigilant about making sure that boyfriend B doesn't yell at you. Hitting, pushing, shoving, yelling are all forms of violence. Sometimes the violence is subtle. As a result of what you have been through you must have clear boundaries and standards. If you experience anything that doesn't feel right question it, question him. Draw your line in the sand and don't move the line.
CWR: You stated "I'm still healing the wounds...I'm still learning to stand up and ask for what I want without fear of losing people's love." Do you still feel this way, is the recovery process ongoing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and what advice do you have for our readers who have gotten out of an abusive relationship and are working to recover?
There are many questions about domestic abuse as a result of the recent increase of incidents among highly visible public figures, entertainers, and athletes. So we wanted to know just how widespread is violence in romantic relationships among our young people, on our college campuses, and even in our high schools? What are the causes? What can be done to curb this tide of violence?
Dr. Vanzant: To ask a woman why she stays in an abusive relationship is like asking a drug addict why they use drugs. At the moment, there is a belief that you cannot do anything differently. At the time of the experience there is a series of conflicting beliefs in operation. I love him. He loves me. I have no where to go. He will find me. The issue of domestic or relationship violence is a cycle of dysfunctional thoughts and behaviors that cannot be explained in a simple sentence. However,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], my situation was different from some. I was married and I had three children. I came from a history of domestic violence. I stayed because, like many women in this situation, I had seen it all of my life and had come to know the violence as normal.
Dr. Vanzant: This is a major problem in every aspect of society and we act like it does not exist. Violence against women is not only promoted, in some cases it is glorified. Whether it is sexual violence and exploitation or physical violence and exploitation, it is running rampant. Pimps beating the whores, husbands killing their wives, boyfriends stomping their girlfriends is a common, everyday event about which we shake our heads, suck our teeth and expect somebody else to address until it touches us personally. As long as we act like it doesn't matter and continue to accept the exploitation of women on any level, we will see more Chris' and Rhianna's. I believe this event was simply life's way of telling the world, you better deal with this situation.
CWR: As we alluded to in our introduction, you experienced physical abuse in your marriage. You are quoted in Essence magazine as saying, after ending your abusive marriage of nine years: "I accumulated several black eyes, three fractured ribs, a broken jaw, a displaced uterus, and something far worse: the death of my personhood. In a fit of depression, I attempted suicide." First of all, why did you remain in this relationship and endure the abuse for so long?
Dr. Vanzant: If he hits you once, he will do it again. The only hope is if he goes into serious counseling or therapy to deal with his issues. Without that,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], he will do it again. When there are children involved I believe that a woman may need to be required to go into counseling as well as the man. When there are children involved you cannot just end the relationship, however, the nature of the relationship may need to change.
CWR: You have stated that who you are has nothing to do with "having been raped at age nine, or having been in an abusive marriage for nine years, or having been a welfare recipient, or later being a successful public defender, spiritual counselor, and best-selling author." Please explain, particularly in the context of being in an abusive marriage for nine years, please explain to our readers how one overcomes all of the pain so that it has nothing to do with who one is,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or what one becomes.
CWR: Much was written and reported regarding the alleged attack of popular recording artist Rihanna by her then boyfriend and also popular recording artist Chris Brown, and the two continue to be a topic of discussion almost anytime domestic violence is mentioned. This is all so sad, but does it really make any difference who started this, shouldn't the real issue be that Rihanna was allegedly physically abused, and reports indicate this was not the first time something of this nature has happened in their relationship?
Dr. Vanzant: In my mind, the larger question here is the level of violence that occurs in interpersonal relationships. Rihanna and Chris are simply representative of a larger issue within this age group. We seem to take a special interest because they are celebrities. What about the young women all over the country who are being violated by their partners and no one raises a finger or a fuss. The real issue is what is the common thread running throughout the generation of young men that makes them so violent? And, what is the common thread running through the generation of young women that makes them excuse violence directed toward them? What is sad is that when celebrities are involved,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we become concerned but no one seems to care about the issue as it unfolds in high schools and colleges around this country.
In our second interview,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we talk with Dr. Iyanla Vanzant, who was abused as a child, and later was in an abusive marriage. Dr. Vanzant is considered by many to be one of the foremost authorities in the world on relationships. In this interview, Dr. Vanzant candidly shares her experiences as a woman under attack. She also provides insightful information that helps one view matters from the victim's perspective, and offers advice for victims, abusers, and advocates. Our interview with Dr. Vanzant follows.
CWR: In your book, In the Meantime, you wrote, "When your life is working, it is not a dramatic production. We have to break our addiction to drama and crisis. And we have to stop competing." Please explain what you mean, and are those actions symptoms or causes of domestic violence against women?
Dr. Vanzant: In the context of the book, this statement refers to a tendency to expect our lives to be challenging and difficult. Many of us come from violent,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], chaotic and unstable homes. As a result, we have come to expect the drama of struggle, upheavals,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], disruptions, the list goes on. When we mature and begin our own lives, we may have an expectation that we will do the same - - struggle, suffer, feel unsafe, experience violation, betrayal etc. As such, when our lives are peaceful, moving forward without the "drama" we have come to expect, we have a tendency to believe that something is wrong. We live looking over our shoulders waiting for the next big shoe to fall. In the worst case scenarios, we don't only expect difficulty and drama, we create it and participate in it because it is familiar.
CWR: Many times guys project the image of being remorseful, they may even say they will stop the hitting, and may agree to counseling or anger management. In most of these situations, especially when a pattern of physical abuse has been established over a period of time, does this usually work, or is it best for the young lady or woman involved to just end the relationship?
Dr. Vanzant: All things are lessons that God would have us learn. Every experience is a divine set up for us to learn and to know the value of who we are as individuals. Every experience is an opportunity for us to identify our patterns of thought and behavior that take us into experiences that do not work. Every experience is a learning device. When we understand and learn not to be victimized by what we experience, those experiences become valuable tools rather than excuses. I learned my lessons very well. I know who I am. I know what I deserve. I have a sense of value and worth beyond my body, my accomplishments and my possessions. The good news is that what is true for me, is true for everyone else. The bad news is, most of us only get the lessons as we mature.
Dr. Vanzant: Professional therapy or counseling is the only means of help. Violence is not a one-time affair. It is a condition of the heart and mind. Any form of violence is a reflection of wounding at the deepest level of the heart and soul,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. The first thing a man must do is tell the truth about what he feels about himself. Then he needs to find a professional who can help him sort through it.
CWR: You have described the troubled times in your life as "dark valley experiences." Can you explain what you mean as it relates to domestic abuse.
Dr. Vanzant: Why do we need a study to show us what common sense and our eyes tell us every day. A man standing over a woman with a whip in a music video needs no study. Call a woman a B or a Ho' to a pumping drum beat needs no study. Allowing a young man who just pummeled a young woman into your home, to ride your jet ski needs no study. At the same time, I cannot say that it is rap music and hip-hop music alone. Daddy slapping mommy needs no study. Mommy covering her wounds and scars in order to go to work needs no study. Domestic violence, the prostitution of women's pain and degradation for profit is a major issue in this society. What do we need to study about that? What more evidence do we need than what we see and hear everyday?
CWR: Some have suggested that rap music and hip-hop music contributes to violence against women because some of the lyrics in this music genre are very disrespectful to women, some feature violence against women, and some promote masochism and misogyny. Are there any studies or is there evidence that supports this theory?
Dr. Vanzant: Imagine that you are living in a situation with someone you love, someone who says they love you yet, they hit you. In my case, they beat you. Imagine that you want to protect yourself from the judgment and criticism of others and, at the same time you want to protect the person you love. Imagine that you chose this person to come into your life, you trusted this person, you share intimacy with this person and they beat you. The experience undermines your self-confidence, self-trust and self-value. This is what makes domestic and relationship violence such an vicious crime. It makes you a victim of your own thinking as well as the person who is violating you. Because of this the depth of shame and guilt you experience makes it difficult to seek the help and support you need. When you voluntarily participate in an experience that is causing you harm,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you suffer. That suffering is what I call a dark valley experience.
CWR: How can men who have a problem of physically abusing women be helped, first to accept the fact that they have a problem and need help, and how should they proceed to get the help they need?
Our first step is the two interviews in our feature story, "Women Under Attack." In our first interview we talked with Dr. Jeanne King. Dr. King is a psychologist and is the founder of Partners In Prevention, a non-profit organization that works with survivors of domestic violence. Dr. King has also experienced domestic abuse in her family, and works with healthcare providers on recognizing domestic abuse, and interfacing with and clinically managing patients who are victims of abuse. She is a seasoned psychologist, published author and leading expert in identifying the subtle communication patterns of battering relationships. Dr. King helps people recognize, end and heal from domestic violence at home and in court.
Author's Bio:
The CWR adds our voice to the collective chorus of those calling for an end to the age of tolerance of domestic violence against women, and we promise to continue to focus attention on this epidemic of domestic violence.
Dr. Vanzant: Pain will help you make a new choice. When the pain becomes unbearable you will do something about it. I made a decision to leave the pain. It's just that simple. When you are just whining and complaining about the pain but not doing anything to eliminate it from your life, it simply means that you don't hurt bad enough yet.
CWR: As you just mentioned, because of the high visibility of Rihanna and Chris Brown a lot of attention was given to this issue. Was the Rihanna and Chris Brown situation just an isolated incident in regard to young people within the 18 - 24 year age group, or is this a major problem for young and more mature alike, and is it just something we as a society tolerate and do not discuss?
CWR: In reference to your decision to end your marriage and leave your husband, accepting the role of a single-parent, and with no means to support yourself, you stated,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], "When you make up your mind, things shift." What was it that finally caused you to make up your mind, and what advice do you have for our readers who may be struggling to find the courage to make up their minds to end an abusive relationship?
About Dr. Vanzant:
Dr. Iyanla Vanzant is an internationally renowned speaker and critically acclaimed best-selling author with over 8 million books in print, and her book, In the Meantime, was a #1 bestseller and was on the New York Times Best Sellers List for 20 weeks. She is the founder of Inner Visions Institute for Spiritual Development. She made her television debut as host of her own daytime television show, Iyanla, and has a new televison program," Fix My Life", on the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN). She is recognized as one of the foremost authorities in the U.S. on relationships. She is a graduate of Medgar Evers College in New York and earned her law degree from the City University of New York. She is the recipient of numerous honors, including the 1994 National Association of Equal Opportunity in Education Alumni of the Year; in 1999 she was listed among the 100 Most Influential African-Americans by Ebony magazine; she earned the NAACP Image Award for Outstanding Literary Work, Non-Fiction, for Yesterday I Cried; and Newsweek included her as one of the "Women of the New Century."
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as well as the teachers


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